Just Girl

Okay, so school session is almost coming to an end and it's time to hunt for a good paying job. I have to save up for school supplies. *aargh* it's so frustrating. I can't believe I'm going to use my hard earned money to buy school outfits that I'm probably never going to wear again. My school has this really strict dress code and it's really frustrating. You have to dress officially from Monday to Friday and you have to wear skirts that are below your knees and have no slit. I'm sure you might be saying inwardly:"this girl is in secondary school and her school is really nice and everything ",but you are wrong, because I'm in a university. The time of my life when I'm supposed to be free and get to learn life experiences. I know you are thinking it's just the strict dress code, but that's not all. We barely have a social life. We only have two social events in a year and it never lasts more than three hours. They always make us a...

Okay, i know I've been talking about this mysterious boy for a long time and it's getting kinda creepy. I was talking to my girlfriend about this boy and she made a statement that made me realize that I'm the reason why I've been thinking about this boy. Obsession is self-made. So, yesterday I didn't think about him for even a second. I talked to my girlfriends about movies and other general things. There was no mention of crushes and guess what? I felt better. I realized that if i ever want to get this boy to notice me and not be the girl he never noticed, I had to woman up and wear my big girl pants. So, I'm starting small. I'll start by saying hi whenever I see him and engage in small talk. Baby steps and who knows what might happen ;-) Talking to him won't be so hard if i can get my brain to stop being so mushy around him, which can eventually happen.

Okay, so I found out that this boy i like doesn't have a father anymore. His dad passed away a while back. It's kind of sad that the first thing we have in common are our dead dads. This makes bonding over mutual events kind of weird. It's not like i can go: "hey, let's bond over our dead dads at a restaurant". That would just be weird and terrifying for him. That would kind of make me creepy stalker. The truth is, knowing this, makes me feel like i have a connection with him. I don't really know how to explain it. I just feel he would be a great person to talk to about losing my dad. He went through it and he might have some tips that would be much more helpful than any that a therapist would give. I honestly wish he didn't lose his dad and I'm not happy about it, because he's really nice and kind and good. I guess bad things really happen to good people. I wish I could reach out to him in a not so weird way. That would be super chill. ...

Okay, so i told one of my girlfriends about this boy i really like and she was even more freaked out than i was. Turns out that she's friends with this guy and she started concocting this fairytale of introducing me to this boy and the boy falls madly in love with me and we live happily everafter. I don't really blame her, she's a romantic and lives in movie like romance. I don't know why i didn't tell her earlier. She's rooting for me and the boy being together. Friends are the best. She makes me think that I can work up the courage to have a resonable and not really weird convo with this boy. She didn't believe me at first, but she kind of figured out i wasn't lying. She has all these plots and I think she's going to carry out each one until I can have an intelligent conversation with him. Telling the truth helps a lot. If I didn't tell my friend the truth, I wouldn't have a supporter. With my friend's imagination, I've got a s...

Okay, there's this boy I really like. I don't really know why I'm posting this, but i just realized that letting go is easier. Yes, back to this boy. He's really nice, sweet and kind. Some people say he's not handsome, but I don't care. I really like him. This boy doesn't even know i exist cos i always avoid him. The one time he spoke to me, i blew it. I made a weird comment and was mostly frozen. He saw me the next day and tried to pretend like i wasn't weird, but i blew it again. I'm kind of outgoing. Not all the time, but I'm kind of conversational. He's not even helping me get over him, cos he's just so nice. I'm really angry and confused. Why can't he have one flaw? I really need help in getting over him. Help me get over this boy!!!!! *screaming inwardly* I'm nuts. Who knew crushing on a boy was actually confusing and difficult?